I’ll Be There
by spectersanatomy
Summary: Louis loved having Donna working for him, but deep down a part of him felt guilty, and he hated himself for it. All he had wanted for years was to have her as his secretary, but what he had wanted more was to be Harvey’s friend, and he has that chance when he walks into the man’s office, finding him in the midst of a panic attack.


Louis loved having Donna working for him, but deep down a part of him felt guilty, and he hated himself for it. All he had wanted for years was to have her as his secretary, but what he had wanted more was to be Harvey's friend; ever since Donna left his desk, their relationship had been rockier than ever.

He had always been a little socially awkward, and Harvey was the complete opposite. No matter who he was with, he could always strike up a conversation and leave the other person wanting to know more about him. He was a man's man, cool, everything Louis aspired to be. He would never admit it, but ever since he first met the man, he had wanted to be his best friend, but Donna filled that role, then Mike came along - everything he did at this point seemed to tip him over the edge, and Donna was the icing on the cake.

After weeks of stubbornness, he decided it was time to bury the hatchet - after all, they couldn't act like this forever. Eventually they would have to work together and put either the firm's or a client's needs above their own, and they couldn't do that if they were both acting like children fighting over a toy.

Maybe Donna wasn't just a toy to Harvey though, because when he strolled into the man's office, stopping outside to adjust his tie, polish his teeth and give himself a little pep talk in the glass, he was shocked by what he saw.

At first, it just appeared as though Harvey was staring out of the window, as he quite often did: a glass of whisky in one hand, the other in his pocket as he gazed out over the New York skyline and thought intensely about whatever it was that men like him thought about. But when he got closer, he noticed that the man was shaking slightly, he could hear his breaths getting louder and louder, more and more strained by the second. He didn't even seem to know that Louis was there, or he certainly would have at least tried to pull himself together somewhat.

It was very unlike Harvey to act like this, and it made Louis uncomfortable. This was the kind of situation he didn't know how to handle, especially since it was Harvey who appeared to need his help, it was bad enough when it was a complete stranger. Ironically, this was exactly the kind of situation Harvey would take into his stride, in fact, Louis had seen him do it a handful of times with Mike: he took control of the situation and always managed to defuse it swiftly and usually without any mess.

He wasn't quite ready to leap into action when Harvey turned around to get a glass of water, but Louis immediately saw that he was out of his depth. Not only was the man shaking and breathing unevenly, but he was also pale and had a sheen of sweat coating his forehead. His tie had been pulled down, clearly hastily, and his shirt was unbuttoned at the top; his usually pristine hair now a mess as the man ran his fingers through it in an attempt to calm himself or perhaps in frustration.

As he made his way to the water table, he steadied himself on his desk before making a move, clearly growing dizzy. Louis' first instinct was that it was a heart attack, but the look of complete and utter fear on Harvey's face told him it wasn't, besides, he seemed to have perfect use of his left arm, unlike himself when he had had one a few years ago.

"Harvey?" He finally said, thinking that he should probably make his presence known before he scared him even more.

"Not now Louis, I'm not in the mood." Harvey said between strained breaths.

Louis was a little in awe. Even when he was under extreme stress and hyperventilating, he still managed to retain some composure, albeit not much, but considerably more than most would manage to muster. He just stood there, trying to wrack his brain for a way to help - he couldn't jut leave Harvey here like this, that's not what a friend would do.

Meanwhile, Harvey couldn't care less what Louis was doing. He wanted him to leave, of course, but he was too caught up in his own racing thoughts to give a damn about whether he was there or not. As far as he was concerned, this was his fault, well his and Donna's, but he couldn't really blame her, not unless he could also blame himself. All she had done was ask him how he loved her, a simple question that they both knew had a simple answer, yet he couldn't admit it, not to her, not to anyone.

None of this was helping, in fact, the thought of her walking away from him seemed to suck more of the air out from around him to the point where he thought he would never fill his lungs with air again. His hands were starting to tingle and he knew that he somehow had to get this under control. As he inhaled glass after glass of water, eventually stopping when he choked on it, he tried to get the image of her back as she walked away from him out of his head. Even through the tears that had formed in his eyes then, and those that were filling them now, he could still see her hair flowing perfectly from side to side and her hips swaying with each step. Despite his ears ringing as he heard the blood rush past them, he swore he could hear her heels click on the floor, even louder than usual. The further away she got, the more distorted she had become, until she was no more than a blur, refracting in all directions thanks to his tear filled eyes.

That was how it felt, she was now no more than a blur in the distance, out of his reach, no matter how much he wanted her to be in front of him, clear as day, she was gone. Of course, the irony was that she was probably the one person who would have been able to talk him down from this, she always had been the only one, and that made it hurt that much more.

He felt like he was in some kind of dream, like he would wake up any minute. Nothing made sense. He was starting to get incredibly lightheaded, deciding he needed to make his way to the restroom to avoid throwing up there and then, and as he stumbled, he found himself not hitting the floor, but instead being pulled into someone's embrace. For a moment, he wondered who it could be, because whoever it was was suffocating him. There was already a lack of air, the last thing he needed was to have someone pressed up against him stealing from the limited supply he had.

Were they not struggling as much as he was?

Their body was not shaking, nor was their chest rising and falling as dramatically as his was, and whilst it may have been in an attempt to calm him down, it only seemed to enrage him more.

"Harvey, it's Louis, breathe."

He had seen the way that his partner's eyes had been darting around the room, searching for the face of the person who was holding on to him.

"Louis, get off! Not now - just get out!"

He should have known that it would be Louis who was stupid enough to hug him at a time like this.

"No."

The man still seemed to be holding on for dear life no matter how hard Harvey tried to push him away. It took everything in him to not let go, it was in his nature to try and impress Harvey, and he felt bad doing this, but he knew it would help.

"Louis, let me go!"

He was thrashing around in Louis's arms. He had a surprisingly strong grip and it seemed impossible to get out of it, as much as he longed to.

"l can't do this." Harvey exclaimed eventually, managing to claw his way out of Louis' grasp and move swiftly across the room, facing away and leaving one arm extended backwards, the other wrapping around his forehead as he tried to centre himself.

"Breathe."

He knew this was all Louis could really do to help, but right then, telling Harvey to breathe was like telling a paralysed person to walk - it felt impossible.

"l can't."

At this point Louis slowly walked over, making sure Harvey could see his hands. He was incredibly aware of the fact that Harvey was at his most vulnerable right now, and as much as a part of him would love to humiliate him with this, the old him definitely would have, he couldn't bring himself to, in fact, his instinct was to help him - he felt he owed it to him anyway.

"It's okay."

Speaking with a gentle voice that Harvey had never heard before, he stepped closer, this time wrapping around him from behind, pulling him close and linking his arms around Harvey's chest. It was quite a stretch, and uncomfortable, but he did it anyway, ignoring the way that Harvey tried to fight him.

"No, l don't want this."

"l'm applying pressure to relax your nervous system. Decrease your metabolic rate. You'll feel more panicked at first. You'll try to resist it, but eventually you'll feel your pulse rate slow. Your pulse rate will slow."

"Louis-"

"Your breath will come easier."

As Louis spoke, Harvey did in fact find that he was starting to calm down. His pulse was indeed slowing and it seemed like one minute he was struggling for air, and the next, there was a plentiful supply around him. It took him a while to feel fully fine, but when he could breathe and no longer felt like he was spinning, he looked down at Louis, who was still squeezing him.

"Louis, you can let go now."

"No, I won't, this will work - I know it will. You're just gonna have to trust me."

"Louis."

Nothing.

"Louis, I'm serious."

The man still clung to him, leaving him no choice.

"Louis!" He exclaimed. "Let go of me!"

As he shouted, he gave him a little push and Louis quickly realised that Harvey was okay and pulled away, straightening up his suit as he waited for the other man to say something. Harvey, however, said nothing, simply clearing his throat as a cue for Louis to leave.

"Cows are squeezed in a chute before they're slaughtered." Louis said, running hand over his head, like one would do with their hair if they were uncomfortable - except he didn't have enough to do that; add that to the list of things he envied about Harvey, his hair.

He didn't know why he blurted that out, Harvey seemed to be confused by the name partner's exclamation, and just gave him a questioning look, prompting him to say more.

"The chute applies intense pressure, resulting in decreased pulse rate, metabolic rate and muscle tone."

Harvey still looked like he had no clue what was going on. Louis waited until Harvey had sat down on the couch and had a glass of water before he went to join him.

"The same principles apply to you."

After a while of getting no reply, Louis stood up and started to walk out of the room, slightly annoyed that Harvey had given no recognition to what he had just done to help him. With every other step he considered going back and saying something, but with the step after he talked himself out of it, he couldn't find it in himself to do so.

When he reached the door, he heard his voice shout out.

"Louis, wait."

He started to turn quickly, slowing down only for the sake of preserving his dignity.

"Thank you. I appreciate it, but if you ever mention this to anybody-" He was cut off by Louis.

"Understood."

This time when he turned to leave, he had to compose himself, taking a few deep breaths of his own to avoid dancing down the halls. He couldn't believe what had just happened, and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't hide the spring in his step.


End file.
